My problem is I am very new to Joomla and this sort of thing-I have no clue how to find the folders to install manually the various files
"
Extract the downloaded archive and copy the files
/components/com_uddeim/rss.php
/components/com_uddeim/pfrontend.php
/components/com_uddeim/attachment.php
/components/com_uddeim/postbox.php
into
/components/com_uddeim/

and
/administrator/components/com_uddeim/admin.spamcontrol.php
/administrator/components/com_uddeim/admin.mcp.php
into
/administrator/components/com_uddeim/

When you enter the uddeIM admin backend you should find

- a new tab "Public",
- a new option "Enable RSS" in the "System" tab,
- a new option "Enable attachments" in the "System" tab,
- a new toolbar icon "Report Center"
- a new toolbar icon "Message Center"
I am using Joomla 3.22-thankyou- boy is all this confusing but fun!

You will find these files on your server.

You can use your ftp program to upload the files to your server or use a component like Extplorer. Ensure that you have access rights to do so (FAQ Ch. 2.2 and 2.3 ftp layer / php user)

i'm donator, i don't understand how enable public frontend messages tab in community builder profile page

"Public Frontend Plugin" enables the front end for unregistered users.
Create a menu link to uddeIM (you should already have one for your registered users) and set the access level to "public users" instead of "registered users".

The PMS plugin for CB has nothing to to with the "Public Frontend Plugin" and is only available for registered users (note that there is no spam protection unlike the Public Frontend Plugin provides).

Ah ok, tnx