What do you mean it doesn't move newly commented stuff upwards? You mean comment activity entries? The system action only logs commented on activity for status posts. You'd need to adjust its conditions if you want it to apply to groupjive, etc.. posts.

The only thing determining where an activity entry belongs is the Asset. It has no idea what gender someone is. If you have an activity stream with an asset of "male" it can and only will show activity with an asset of "male". The same for female. This is all doable now by simply creating 2 activity modules, menu items, or even activity fields and adjusting their Asset parameter accordingly.

The exclude feature is specifically to exclude an asset. So for example if Asset is set to "all" to show all activity then I specify an exclude of "male" it will show all activity except those with an asset of "male".