If I want it to trigger even when the user is updated on the backend should I add the backend trigger?

Yes.

Conditional is: IF "show family member tab" equal to "1" translate NO then SHOW for registration=disabled, profile edit=enabled, profile view=enabled ... and the result is that the tab shows on edit profile but not on view. Conditionals 4.02 installed. The field is NULL for this user.

Is your "show family member tab" displayed in profile edit? Profile edit displays are jQuery driven. If the field isn't on profile edit it maybe having a hard time determining the initial value of the field. In this case you would not use a simple condition of the field, but instead use a Custom > Value then substitute the field value in using [FIELD_NAME]. The reason for this is Custom > Value will always compare to the raw field value and not bother looking for it in the DOM to jQuery condition it.

Ok thanks - got that working. Now on to AutoActions. When I update user profile of Family Plan user, and tell it to create a new user, it doesn't create the user. I'm thinking they aren't firing. Is there a way to see a log of which Auto Actions are being run and what the results of the conditions are?

Ensure you're using CB Auto Actions 6.1.1. You maybe being hit by the automatic user detection bug in previous releases.

Retested the registration action and it appears to be working fine. Please PM backend super administrator login credentials and will take a look.

Have reviewed your install and it's working fine. Your conditions are just setup a bit strange. You're requiring the user to check a checkbox to create a user. Then you have a checkbox on your super admin tab that also must be checked to allow the registration. If both are checked (for the first time due to your var3 condition) then you save the profile it will register the user fine. I suggest reviewing your conditions and adjusting as needed. Please note you can find this information by enabling debug mode and maximum error reporting in Joomla global configuration then turning on debugging for your action under Parameters tab.